Where are you.
What are you doing.
Narrate the MAGIC of your META.
#professormikey
Mike Madigan … the creATive English Professor's place, for discussion, ideas, writings, sharings, lectures, notes, everything for finding yourself a stronger and more decided reader, writer … JOIN THE CONVERSATION!
#professormikey 
I’m sitting at my kitchen table with many different tasks scattered in front of me, stressing out over all of my final exams and projects. So many thoughts race through my mind that it’s hard to decipher each one, like TV static buzzing in my brain. I’m in a trance of intense focus until some small distraction brings me back to Earth, like a text notification or my cat brushing against my legs. When I look up from my work I see the Christmas tree my mom and I carefully decorated a few days ago, longing for the next few weeks to pass quickly.
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In the tangible sense, I am sitting at my patio studying and writing whilst being surrounded by nature. Nature is everywhere and anywhere, and it’s presence is inspiring to me. Introspectively, nature plays an integral role in determining my mood. I was in a mental rut because I wasn’t able to be out and enjoy nature for a couple days. After taking a walk around a lake, I decided that today I will work outside instead of at my desk. I’ve been more productive in the last couple of hours than the last few days thanks to a simple solution.
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Physically I am sitting at my desk, staring at a computer screen. There is no one else home so my house is extremely static and quiet. The reason I am doing this is because I have a long list of assignments to complete and exams to study for. While I spent the majority of last week goofing around with my friends who temporarily returned from college, this one will consist of nothing but work. The transition from play to work has been strangely easy. Just a few days ago I was unable to be even remotely productive, but now I have an extreme amount of determination to do well on finals. My current meta is a state of work, all while reminiscing on comparative paradise of last week.
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I am sitting at my desk in front of my window. I’m focusing my energy on the nature in front of me. I take in the sun, the trees and the green grass. It feels weird to look at because isn’t it supposed to be fall/winter? Regardless, that is what I am working with. That is what I get to work with. I try to always remind myself how lucky I am that I get to see nature all the time when I work. It helps me be creative. It opens my mind and brings out my best work.
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I am sitting at my desk in my room, working on my UC applications. A lot of things are going through my head as I do this—fear, excitement, frustration, hope. I am trying to transfer as a sophomore because I will be 10 units short of being a junior transfer and that is really difficult for me. I know that sophomore transfers have a harder time getting into UCs, but CSU schools have completely banned sophomore transfers this year so it is my only shot. I know my application won’t be perfect, but I need it to be very good.
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Currently, I am sitting at my desk in math class. Although I am present physically my mind wanders elsewhere. Along with many others, I have just submitted the last of my college applications. This is exciting of course… yet I am fearful. Fearful of the possibility that I may get deferred. Fearful of disappointing my parents as they have sacrificed everything to provide me with the resources needed to succeed. Fearful of disappointing myself. This is my one shot to make something of myself and I know I can not mess it up.
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I’m not doing anything special, but I’ve learned to find solace in the simple things. Right now I am sitting here on my counter watching my parents, my mom is cooking herself lunch while my dad is outside doing some sort of yard work. Although my mind could wander off into a stressful mess, worrying about my college future and where I will go. I am trying my best to stay present in the moment and enjoy my parents presence.
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I’m here sitting enjoying the day as it goes. The lovely fall Novato weather accompanies me as I spend my lunch break in peace. Responsibility fills my brain as I remember when I leave work, exams and projects will soon be the next of my worry. Scared, but excited for the rush to die down.
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I am currently at home, sitting at my desk and completing some homework. I am just trying to power through this homework so that I can relax for the rest of day. It is a nice day today and I want to go play some basketball before the start of Golden State Warriors game today. I’ve been looking forward to the game all week because I want to hopefully see the Warriors beat the Suns so that I can say that the Warriors are the best team in the NBA right now to my sister’s boyfriend.
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I am home. Finally, after a long weekend of working four days straight, I am home. It had been some time since I could remember the soft embrace of my pillow and the poison words she whispers in my ear, begging me to stay just a little while longer. But I must go, painfully rip myself away from that warm safety and get back to work. Nothing I am getting paid for, unfortunately, but I am almost finished. Just a few more weeks then I can finally succumb to the inky black void. That chamber of rest. Wish me luck…
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Today I’m sitting on my mom’s porch, watching the fog of Redondo Beach pass by, and tomorrow I’ll fly back to San Francisco. With my boyfriend in SF and my mother in LA, I’m separated between two households. My worries of the unknown remain as we wait for doctors to respond to our questions; nevertheless, I am confident that in a week or two, we will have more information. I try to focus on my courses and passing; my primary goal is to pass without allowing the turmoil to distract me. My degree is essential for my future, therefore I’m keeping my eye on the prize.
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It’s nearing 5 in the afternoon and I’m just sitting down at my desk for the first time today. The sun is shining through the window to my west as it threatens to retreat behind the mountains. The light is bothering me but I am tired, sore, and don’t feel like removing myself from my chair to adjust the blinds. I really don’t feel like doing any work right now as I have been up sense 5 a.m. and standing on a ladder painting most of the day. I’ll have to do the same tomorrow and the next day to finish the Job I’m working on before I work my “actual” job Friday through Sunday. Hard work makes me have a greater appreciation for school and I am happy to stay busy, busy is good.
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I am currently taking a walk in my backyard. The weather is cool and the sky is such a beautiful sight. The slight wind hitting my face blowing my hair back gives me chills. It’s my favorite season; I love Fall evenings. The trees look empty, their leaves all fallen on the ground in a bunch of maroons and golden yellows. I’m listening to music while strolling around; a soundtrack that always reminds me of Fall. It gives me this feeling that I can’t quite describe. With the cool breeze all around me, and the pink purple-ish clouds in the sky, I feeel like I am floating.
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Where are you?
I’m here.
What’re you doing?
I don’t know, but I’m doing it.
I’m taking one day as it comes, yesterday was history, tomorrow is unknown and today is the present…a gift. Just showing up and being here, wherever that is, is enough. I’m happy, I’m grateful and I’m growing and that’s all that matters to me.
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Today my family and I got into the festive spirit and brought home a Christmas tree and decorated the house. Right now I am studying for finals week with my friend and completing some assignments. I took a nice hike to recharge my mind before I started, and now I am finalizing what I need to accomplish. I am stressed out this week and have a lot to get done, but I am excited for the upcoming holiday activities.
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I’m sitting in my kitchen drinking hot chocolate while organizing my workload so that I don’t end up overwhelmed, attempting to make things even and gauging what tasks will be harder than others, I made a nice rice bowl to relax while I work and am trying to figure out what topic to do for my different final projects.
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I am currently in my bed, starting on my homework. I want to sleep, and I do not want to do my homework, but I have to at least start on it. I am full of stress right now with finals week approaching. I have a lot of homework that I have to finish in a small amount of time. It is difficult because while studying and practicing for finals, I have tons of homework that I also have to worry about. I am holding on and positive to finishing this semester so I can get a break from stress.
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I am currently in my mom’s room helping her try and apply for her college classes at the SRJC since she is priority 2 and trying to apply for a microbiology class. It’s pretty hard since there are so many people trying to log in and it’s making it hard to load pages in the SRJC website. Overall not the worst start of the day since as im typing this my sister just completed the checkout for thee class so i’d say that is pretty good.
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I just woke up. Don’t know much about what my day will turn out to be. It could be great and everything seems to go my way. Or it could go all wrong, putting me in a bad mood fighting against everything. It feels like I have a say, maybe I can convince my day to be great. After all, one event doesn’t define your day, it’s how you react to that event that really matters.
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Physically, I am writing on my computer for this blog post. Mentally I am busy. A lot to do for each class and closing in on finals only adds on to it. Although, getting the stuff done and grinding it out is really rewarding and it keeps me going. I am anxious on how everything after this semester will turn out but I have realized that if I day it one day at a time, instead of worrying how everything will turn out, the days go a lot smoother. So in reality, I think I am actually excited. Who knows.
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I’m sitting at the cash register at work. I’m in between customers, finally getting a break from the chaos that is retail during the holiday season. Mentally, I am no longer here. Physically my body aches and I’m tired. It’s been insanely busy and it’s not letting up. I still have two hours of work and my mind is drifting off to all the things I need to do when I get off.
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I am in my living room eating dinner with my family. We are watching Christmas shows and talking about where we’re going for Christmas. I showed them what I thought would look good on our Christmas tree and they liked the idea. Every year we get the Christmas tree as a whole family and with my sister away at college we have to wait to get our tree but it’s a gridiron we do and we can’t break that. I love that we still eat as a family and that we can all just smile and laugh together.
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I’m sitting on my living room floor with my daughter thinking about all the things that I need to do in such a little time. I’m such a procrastinator that I’m such a last minute person and stress myself out with having to do everything at once.
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Where are you… I’m somewhere in the middle of my life trying to figure that out. I’m spending a lot of time going over where I’ve been in order to better understand just how I got to where I am today. I do know that today I am exactly where I need to be, and that in accepting this truth I can slowly figure out where I am going.
What are you doing… I have no idea but I’m actually okay with that for now. I’m learning and growing in areas that have been neglected for way too long.
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Physically, I am sitting at my desk writing for this blog post. Mentally I am just trying to stay calm and happy in the midst of all that I have going on in my life. Sometimes I catch myself worrying about things to far in the future that I cant control which leads to some anxiousness. Between school and sports I find it best to live day by day and try to live in and enjoy the moment I’m in instead of thinking about the past or the future.
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I am staring aimlessly in front of my computer with what feeling like having thousands of different noises in the background. Having so much work and studying to do, but the only thing I have on my mind is getting in the kitchen and creating a beautiful work of art. With every sound the house makes my focus gets more and more lost into my thoughts. Imagining the house grumbling about its old structure.
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I am in my home, contemplating the coming end of this year, surrounded by people who I call family who in fact are not. I am faced with various tasks in the back of my mind that I know need completion but at this moment I am unmoved to work. I relish in the comfort I reside within and worry not.
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I am sitting at home in my room starring into my computer screen. We are in the last couple days of the year 2021. Crazy to think that COVID has been around for two years now. As I over think everything happening in the world, I feel small. I am a tiny person compared to everything else on this planet. I am just a super tiny piece to this huge thing we can our world. Here I am finishing my final essay on last week of semester and year of 2021. The end of my first semester at a college
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Congrats!!!
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I’m sitting on the bus watching the world float by. I enjoy having time to myself. Listening to my music; getting lost in the world around me. As days pass me by, I feel a sense of loss. Loss of potential for that day. I wonder why I’ve let so many hours of work slip through my fingers. I’m not sure if it’s been my mental health or time management skills. I feel some regret for not working harder, for not doing more. I take the time to calm myself, looking to the present, as I am working hard now, and that’s what counts the most.
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