We think it arrives as a surge— a breakthrough, sudden “clarity”, a new version of ourselves stepping forward fully formed. But most days don’t work like that. Most days are built in smaller rooms. A thought you interrupt. A reaction you soften. A moment you don’t chase. That’s the work. Self-care isn’t escape—it’s refinement. Mental…
10:00
Handling shit, like the Nurse says. Today getting up, seeing the Story with a sharp and almost stinging clarity. Finances hit first, handling shit like the Nurse says. She downstairs handling more projects. Need to mail something, I remind myself. Prepping more notes for students next week. Sales, and Sales Training, distilled to self-exploration, and…
When you notice yourself thinking in certain low, and more sluggish trains.
What do you do, if you want to stop? Easy, just that. Decide to STOP. Exercising patience, writing more poetic form. Not needing or imposing on self the needle of conventional prose. Writing the Nurse…. Again. Yes, and more after these words, lines, whatever form the form— Sent her some verse. Can’t stop thinking of…
Write your Peace…
On all days, all pages. 🖊️☮️📓
Getting the ASBC project off the ground. Call earlier, now just have to make some small business contacts. Rewriting the day’s agenda, in a second.
No run today, again. Too much to do… One project, then another. No more new ones, I swear…. Like my head is spinning and the mind is desperate to escape itself. Was talking with a guy from another department, Logistics I think, in the break room a minute ago, telling me he’s rowing during the…
3-31-26
Back from 5 mile run. Trying to cool down before 13:00 meeting. Sipping water from the Stanley the Nurse bought me years ago. Strong, I felt on the run. Fearless…. And with a more electric and applied confidence. The Nurse and I go back and forth with the idea, that feeling this much love and…
Change in the company, and there is a new Story for me…. Coffee, sound of an airplane over our Vacaville home.
Caring for SELF, in a new way. Email account having issues, and I’m refusing to let it do anything to my mood. Coffee…. The book. Work tomorrow, in the office, build more of the Story of a Consumer Sales Trainer. The notes and lessons, how it extends out of the role itself— Nothing to write…
The idea for one more blog, avowed the last I will ever start, in motion. Documentarian approach to not just writing, but life. The SELF-Care theses and mind, study.
…….. And, NO OVERTHOUGHT. That’s the root of many problems and stresses… the rest of my life, SELF-Care Composition. Coffee, love, peace, quiet, study…. Every “thing” in the Now, is a Story. Is a lesson, suggestion, something from which to learn, and create… I could write a fucking book and build a career on…
Currently…
And always the perspective.
Laptop acting weird, me getting frustrated but then I remember I have more than one, so…. Suck it, technology.
12:04… not running today, the right decision. Head spinning. Do I have too many projects? What would be the essential one. The anchor, or nucleus?? I guess this blog, or the other, or both. I’m overthinking, and starting to be a hungry-loopy sort of sensation. Leaving house at 12:30. May need a nap when back. …
At desk. Nurse at work…. Feeling invincible, FREED, content in my own Composition.
With this intensity, for the first time since who knows exactly when and it doesn’t fucking matter. I’m here, so powerful, and renewed. More poetry seen and communicated from what now me surrounds. Reciting, music… now me with new tracks that haven’t been with set anchor in years. But again, never mind time. I’m here,…
Back from lunch with Nurse.
Article posted on bottledaux.com, with the intention and vision of turning the site into a SELF-Care content agency. Quite honestly, I had the idea this morning at Peet’s getting coffee with the Nurse and have been haunted by it before that so this morning I decided to write. Part of it, to be honest, was…
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