I want to hear other conversations…. People talking, their stories. Two people at my writing booth, talking about cooking, and then running, then waking up super early and running and working out. FUCK, I say to myself. I need to get up at get it out of the way. Chris last night telling me that’s…
12:04 —> Gifting myself QUIET. Some time to collect.
And why not. Everything with an optimistic edge and tone. What I’m deciding. What I’m, just, speaking. Find a new strength this morning. Like a lack of concern, but…. Not that. It’s better. More freeing, actually. Just me at the desk, and the simplicity is of a strange and more layered allure. I’m just…
08:00 note and signature
In office early. Coffee, class in an hour. Didn’t sleep well last night, and not letting my head get set in anything opposite of favorable. Nurse calls me, wishing me a great day. Followed by a few ILU’s… there, the writer is better. 08:13… staying in this free-write, this setting and sitting, although I’m standing. …
Three days till I’m 47. Holy fuck…. Yeah, well, it is what it is.
I take some minutes to myself after a great meeting with my Sales Ops Director, Sandra… a strong and empathetic, brilliant and driven woman I have respected for years. Motivated by our meetings, or jam sessions as I call them. Thinking about one more coffee, but refraining. Imagine that…. Example of deciding to stop and…
Prioritize SELF-Care.
Prioritize YOU.
The Logo…
Or one of them.
5-21-2026
10:12 Handling anything in front of me. In, and out. Running today, but not far. In fact, the entire route, modified. Coffee made at home today, fourth day in a row for the Nurse and I. My mind… placid, grateful, eager, and with new method. I’m caring for ME, yes, but thinking about the life…
from I JUST DECIDED TO STOP
Someone says hello walking by. Couldn’t remember her name. She tells me, I pretend like I remembered, not sure why I did that but I did. Probably not wanting to come off as rude, or forgetful. Notes on day, written earlier, “…Tuesday had the personality of a grocery store aisle — endless, fluorescent, trying too…
Class.
Ideas… from sales to the Career Heights Highway project…. Staying smooth in the day, not running at lunch but in a content STORM. This… Mindful, here and present, managing this book of business which is an actual book and not just a fucking spreadsheet of leads and vendors and contact/touch patterns. Logging back in to…
Find myself getting disorganized. I decide to STOP. No, seriously.
After the run today where I went out 4 miles and turned around, and stopped short of six thus having to walk the whole way back… DONE. Learning and adjusting. More than adjusting, I’m re-aligning. Not sure I should have hyphenated that, but… I’m here, still on break, probably 20 minutes over what I should…
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11:27. Lunch. 12:58….. Lunch over and me trying to stay on-task with the curriculum pieces I’m putting together. Coffee but it’s not helping. So what do I do, asking myself… don’t come up with an answer. Making that the case. Stay whim-driven, randomized. That’s the only way to dig out of this lull. See guys…
Getting to the office and noticing my overthought.
That’s simple, that straightforward and honestly honest with myself today. No run. Too windy and of course too much to do. Finally some time to SELF in the writing booth… Day NINE in this last of such trivial countdowns for SELF. Only reason I’m not quitting is from refusing to let myself. Again, deciding NO….