Taking time to write in the DECIDED project.

Life is good, I messaged the Nurse.  And it is.  I can only credit her with most if not all of it.  Not thinking, after his morning’s MeMeeting.

The deliberation is a stall.  Not sure a tactic but habit I cut like excessively long hair.

Hear the kids skirmishing upstairs.  How did I know the peace wouldn’t extend impressively.  Love the challenge.

And it’s not one, at all.  But an invitation and illumination of the Story.  Me…. A DAD.

Yeah, me.  I can only document the days on the Green, Sunday Fundays like today.  The material is exhausting to some but as a write I’m only smoldering like the temp reading on phone.

There are no more questions, no more pauses and tiring contemplations.  Seriously… I’ve reached that act.

The curtain doesn’t rise, it doesn’t fall—it just hangs there, half-stuck, like some thrift-store fabric somebody nailed up at a high school talent show.  And that’s the point: I’m done auditioning for my own life.  Done auditioning for me… just going to move and if things break, GREAT.

I used to chew on questions until they lost flavor.  

“What am I doing?” “Where’s this all going?” “Why do my shoes squeak like a cartoon detective every time I walk into a quiet room?” 

On and on, like I was some kind of unpaid philosopher trapped in the food court of the universe.

But today, right now, the act is different.  No more overthinking, no more hour-long negotiations with myself over the meaning of Tuesday. 

I’ve decided the script says whatever I scribble down in the margins.  Liberating—like walking out a meeting ….. could’ve been an email, only meeting was my brain, the email was just three words: moving fucking forward.

Maybe that’s it. 

The “act” isn’t a grand finale with smoke machines and a standing ovation.  Maybe it’s just standing in line — coffee without mentally drafting my obituary, or saying “yes” to things before I can sabotage them with one more internal debate.

The act is here. 

The act is now. 

It’s not nearly as piercing as I thought it would be. 

Best part.