6-6:10pm: How are you…? What have you been writing for yourself?
6:10-6:20pm: Narrative final drafts? How do you feel? How do you want the reader to feel?
6:20-6:45: ALL IRBY… What did you think? What about her writing and ideas do you most value as a reader?
6:45-7pm: Your notes on Irby…. What did you find yourself noting most?
7-7:07pm: BREAK
7:07-7:20pm: Journal entries, OPEN MIC
7:20-7:40pm: I have an idea, as to how to end this semester…. It will be a “take-home”, even though we’re all locked in our bloody homes so that’s a moot qualifier….. I’m asking for logical responses and ideas here… what do you want to write about for your final?
7:40-7:50pm: What have you learned about yourself while being “sheltered”-in-place?
7:50-8pm: Closing… thoughts… tonight’s page.
HW: Final reaction to Irby, TYPED… That is, your final assessment of her work. If you want, add onto what you’ve already typed..
Final Prompts will be emailed to you before next class, and you will have three days to complete.
#professormikey 
I do enjoy Irby’s writing, and find outrageously humorous, but underneath the loud funny, I feel like she is in pain. I know that she struggles with different challenges, including a medical condition that is extremely painful. The pain that is present to me is her emotional pain. Like she makes fun of herself in a funny way, and encourages her readers to laugh as well, but it almost makes me feel bad for laughing? I guess in that way she is relatable to me but it makes me feel sad for her. I do like her approach to language, tone and theme, and she has techniques to make the reader pay attention.
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Like Lawson, she’s heroic, but with different music, and sentence placement on page…
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I’m please with the way my final draft turned out. It allowed me to reflect back on many good times while dealing with not the best of times. Writing about these good times brought a smile to my face and since my story had to do with my outdoor life in our area and lately I’ve been running with a smile on my face and that’s a feeling for me that I cannot get anywhere else because the writing just reminded me to have fun no matter the circumstances. I hope that’s a takeaway the reader can get from my story and to also appreciate what is around you.
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Freedom describes Irby to me. Her purpose in writing is vastly different from our other authors. Irby writes with an openness that is unparalleled. She writes simply to write, detailing her experience as she feels fit. She sees no boundaries in her writing format, using bullet points, ellipses, and question/answer format.
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I agree.. especially about experiences and FREEDOM
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I like Irby for the most part. I usually like a bit of dark humor but sometimes it became a bit too much. She clearly uses it along with her down-to-earth style so it comes across as very personal and intimate. It was interesting to have that close of a look into another person’s life with such transparent detail. She reminds me a lot of Lawson but with a twist. They both share a lot of growing pains and mental health struggles, which made me enjoy reading both of their works. Sometimes the stories made me a little uncomfortable or even feel almost unbearable second-hand embarrassment, but overall I’m glad I was introduced to this memoir.
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Any passages that pulled you more into her writing?
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One of my favorites was her passage on “real love” (whatever that truly even means). She calls it boring, but secure. She says it “feels safe, and steadfast, and predictable.” This passage really connected with me and I love how honest it is. It’s not like a rom-com or a cliche Twilight novel, it’s comfortable. She had a lot of passages like that. Ones that challenged the normal way of thought/opinion, and made me see a different side of things, such as love, worklife and mental health.
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Ha ha… nice!
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Irby is again another humanist. The part of her writing that strikes me the most is the essay like feeling the book has. The structure is a little like Sedaris, a bunch of individual stories that come together to form a book. When I read the book I feel like I am reading posts on her blog. I love her ideas of accept me for who I am or we aren’t talking. I like how she makes fun of herself and I believe that everyone should be able to do the same.
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Humanist is a perfect way to describe her
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I like that you call her a humanist. I think that’s a fantastic description.
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I think the final draft of my writing went good. I tried to make sure that the timeline that I was writing made sense to the reader. I changed some parts of my writing because I thought that it could use a bit more structure or better descriptions to tie the whole story together. I wanted my readers to know why I act the way I do because my life has always been changing and I’ve never actually been able to settle down long term because I’v been constantly moving here and there.
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Honestly, my very first impression of Irby was good, I liked that she was so personable and wrote from the heart. But then I almost started to feel like it was a little dry. I was sad to see it turn down that road but to my pleasant surprise, it got right back up and became funny, embarrassing and so relatable again. I’m really enjoying her book. I love that she doesn’t sugar coat anything. She writes about embarrassing parts of her life that I didn’t really even give a second thought about until she mentioned it and I realized just how common yet unspoken some of the situations she talks about are. Over all I’m really enjoying her book and I’m excited to read the rest of what she has to say.
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I felt the same thing after a while of reading. To me, it felt like it got a little to dark and dreary, which just made me sad and a little put-off. But on the other hand, I enjoy the honesty. Glad to hear you kept going, as I am working on finding the redeeming aspects of it as well!
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I appreciate Irby’s ability to be fearless in writing and that she is average. This isn’y to say that she isn’t a great writer but she is HUMAN, just like everyone else. It’s easy to read her writing and think that she’s different or strange or eccentric or improper but when I think about it, I too am nervous and awkward and have quirks and have shortcomings and I’m not in any way perfect. I do stupid things and have ridiculous, perhaps offensive, thoughts plenty of times a day. Irby is able to capture her humaness in her writing and is empowered by not letting the things others view as negative get in the way of her truth.
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Fearless and somewhat of a strong surrender…
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Do you mean that she gave up fighting to hide or wanting to be different or viewing herself negatively or…..? What do mean by strong surrender?
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What I mean is, she just puts it out there, with no expectations.. here is is, and if you don’t like it, okay.. what can I do? Sort of attitude. Make sense?
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Makes perfect sense
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🙂
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Agreed! Irby, I would argue, is the most human writer among all the authors we have read.
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One thing this semester’s authors teach and remind us– All ideas can be built.
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Irby Review! I am head over heels for Samantha Irby right now! I think she’s charming and absolutely hilarious in the most down to earth sense. Her humor is my favorite type of humor- dry, sarcastic, and witty as fuck! Here is a little passage from my review:
“I think the intro to her book is so witty. I was extremely confused by the first chapter originally; My Bachelorette Application. I was thinking that there is no way such a critical and socially detached, confident woman would care whatsoever about such a depressing and degrading television show. Yet, as I read the chapter it all made sense. Her abstract ideas for each essay are quite random and out of the ordinary, but end up becoming so fitting… Samantha Irby defies the ideals and expectations for women and celebrities. She’s well known, but is not fake. She’s comically real. She’s so raw and so human. The humanness seeps through her words and makes her writing relatable. Most people are not like the Instagram influencers we see daily. We don’t all wake up early and dance around in our underwear to the hot 100 pop hits as the sun filters through the window, shining brightly on our perfectly tanned and toned bodies while making a kale smoothie. We don’t all proceed to meditate and do yoga before going for a run. The internet and social media force this unrealistic standard of beauty and femininity on people that is not even possible to maintain on top of real life. The vast majority of those people won the genetic jackpot, have money to perfect every “flaw,” and spend their days pampering themselves. If we all had this sort of time and money, we’d probably all look like Instagram models. Anyways, Irby defies it all with confidence and there is something about her honesty that leaves you feeling confident and wanting more. I aspire to have her intellect, humor, and grace in life. She probably would never use the word graceful to describe herself, but she, like the rest of us, is stumbling through life and she does so with grace.”
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Ava… great words here! Thank you for sharing. And yes, witty indeed, and an effortless seduction in all her syllables.. 🙂
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I totally agree! I feel like I’m having a conversation with her, or better yet am somehow hearing her internal monologue. I have been obsessively researching internal monologues during my time in quarantine after a friend told me some people do not have one! I spoke to my aunt and uncle whom are both professors and neuroscientists and it is fascinating!! Anyways, there is my off topic rant. Overall- She is great and witty. She makes uncomfortable, dark situations readable!! As well as making dry, daily occurrences interesting 🙂
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Like the initiative to research on your own. That’s how you find REAL answers.
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Stumbling through life with grace, i like that, a lot!
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Me as well.
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Thank you!! I don’t think she would describe herself as graceful, but there is grace in her humanness.
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I think she would describe herself as a meant-meander, and stumble..
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Also for tonight’s page.. If you don’t love your story, life, you fucking SHOULD. You BETTER. And if you don’t, write till you DO. ❤
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love this!!
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Thanks Ava… cheers.
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All answers are right in front of you… do you realize that?
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If so, how do I reach the ones I can’t see
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Keep moving till you do.
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I’m doing good. I finally got a more reliable and quarantine-friendly source of income, so I am elated regarding that, and it has made me feel like I am starting a new phase of quarantine. A phase consisting of constantly wondering when this extravaganza will end; however, simultaneously a phase in which I am approximately 10 dollars richer. I have been writing in my journal as if I was a letter to Santa. Here are a few examples: “I want a gift that could properly show my mother how much I love her”, and of course “I want free delivery door dash”. I did not make many changes to the final draft of my narrative mostly because I thought that last week was supposed to be the final draft, but I did end up accidentally learning Mikey’s lesson, that the rough draft should be as close to the final draft as possible. It was a narrative that was actually incredibly upsetting for me to write (bit of a tear jerker if you will), and the intended emotions that I want the reader to experience is helplessness and grief. I’d like to formally apologize for choosing such a dark story. Also I love Irby’s writing style! It seemed like I was reading a series of blog posts. That is where Irby shines so it makes sense that her memoir would be akin to a blog, and it made it very interesting to read. It honestly (like our other books) did not feel like an assignment to read. I don’t classify assignments as things that are supposed to make me laugh, but it is safe to say that this is one of my favorite books now.
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It is said the truth hurts, but with Irby, the truth can be comedic gold. She is fearless in her writing, speaking her truth forth without hesitation. I found her writing to be similar to that of a journal, speaking her mind without a care in the world. It is truly a refreshing read.
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Truth is comedic gold.. LOVE that!
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After reading and rereading some of Irby’s essays, I have begun to really enjoy her details and how candidly she writes. In Irby’s work, I see a very descriptive Lawson that I found I could relate to more because of her parents divorce and working in a veterinary office. Her stories on her veterinary experience are some of the truest things ever and had me laughing as I thought back to the times I had similar experiences.
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I’ve really been loving Irby! I really enjoy the writing style in this book, similar to Sedaris, where each chapter focuses on mainly one topic. It’s much easier to read and follow along, unlike Lawson’s which would get a little confusing at time since she’d incorporate. multiple stories into one. I really admire that Irby is very sure of herself and who she is, and is unapologetic about it.
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Examples?
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“Isn’t it about time they had a bitch with a REAL 2 PERCENT LARGE COTTAGE CHEESE CURD ASS on this awkward date parade? I mean, come on (14).” Lol!
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Ha ha… loved this!
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When I read Samantha Irby, I feel much more invited than I do with the other authors. Thoughts?
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She does invite the reader to step into her world for sure. She is so descriptive of all of her emotions and the day to day. I enjoy her use of adjectives, they make me able to visualize her life and the awkward and uncomfortable situations.
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Love the way she writers. Her attitude is attitude I appreciate and need to read more of..
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I think she does a great job of allowing us to visualize what she’s been through in a comedic light. I appreciate her sass and outspoken persona. She is a character and I would love to spend a day with her. Sometimes you listen to people speak and you’re instantly thinking “wow, I’d love to be their friend!!” That’s how she makes me feel! Haha!!
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I think you’re completely right. She does an amazing job of allowing us to visualize what she’s been through. Her sass and comedic tone make the most bizarre topics fun. I’d love to spend a day with her. Sometimes you listen to someone and think “wow, I’d love to be their friend!!” That’s exactly how she made me feel! haha!
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She does an amazing job of that, you’re right. And she does so with a lot of love, love of life and her own reaction pattern. Sure she’d love to spend a day with you!!
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Yes, I get the same feeling from Irby. She writes with lightness. I think she wants to inspire us to let go of what is weighing us down so she makes the things we might consider mortifying or terrifying into simple human mistakes we can laugh about.
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Totally agree. That weight should remain an unwanted world for ALL of us.
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I feel that way too regarding her book. To me Samantha is more open (detailed) about her life. Lawson, Saderis and Thomson were to a point but to me I feel more invit6ed into Irby’s book than the others. Stephanie Neeley
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It feels like she’s talking to me as her friend. No filter. No judgements. It’s very personal and goes into her mind/life with great depth.
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No filter, no judgements… yes!
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YES! Exactly. She is not one to filter anything and that makes her infinitely more appealing. If you’re a fan of instagram I highly recommend you follow her! I’ve enjoyed her posts immensely:)
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Irby. This is basically an excerpt from my reaction, but full of cursing, CAPITALIZED WORDS AND PHRASES, and emphasis, I loved it all. That’s something I haven’t seen a lot of, but it’s made me want to input it into my own writing. I feel like it just takes the seriousness out of the fact that you’re reading a book, which is especially useful when in comedy and telling a story, as it messes with traditional structure a bit. Similar to the previous two authors, Irby is incredibly open, and completely herself. In a way, this vulnerability almost immediately makes her an underdog as she goes through bad experiences and funny stories, in a way that stops making you judge her writing, but root for her as a person. I feel like a lot of the time with books, perhaps ones that are a bit slow in the beginning, you “wait for it to get good”, but with Irby she just jumps right in and you don’t even think about being critical of the writing. You’re too enraptured by Fred, and the fact that he has a house, a garage, just as much as she is. The standards are high people. She’s the kind of writer where you’re in the room with her or downright cackling at her assessment of men on The Bachelorette. Which had to be my favorite thing I’ve read in a while. Men can be just as petty as women are portrayed to be, 100%. Shoutout Luke P.
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Love it. Her writing has this effect on many.
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One quote that stood out for me from Irby: “I watch TV all day and leave the house only for snacks: THIS IS THE FULLNESS THAT I AM LIVING.” I find it so ironic as we’re all cooped up in our houses, only leaving to get food. Even Irby, in her post-relationship mode, is proud of how she lives.
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So very true! She quarantined before the quarantine.
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Ha ha… yep!!
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Extremely relatable and honest!! So many people, particularly celebrities wouldn’t admit to this because it “impact their image” etc. I love it and think more people need to be open in that respect. We are all doing our best with the tools we’ve been given!
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impacts^
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lolz
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Impact in everything she writes,..
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I’ve enjoyed Irby. I find her style similar to Lawson in the sense of there writing styles. I get that stand-up comedian type vibe from their writing as stand-up comedians base a lot of their humor on their personal experiences and what they see in their life. I enjoy how she is real with reader and tells it the way it is, it helps me know that sometimes it’s okay to be that way and you don’t always have to sugarcoat everything. So in a sense, I’m learning a bit from her as in being less quiet and being more loud and passionate with words.
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I feel that vibe as well… any parts in particular that struck you so?
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I think one of the most prime examples in Irby’s book is her bachelorette application. That is a show known for having “extraordinary” people on it and Irby describes herself as a normal human. She lets the show know that on her application telling them the way she really lives, thinks, and what she would truly bring to the show. She doesn’t sugarcoat anything and hide stuff as that would be lying to them. After I read that, I found that it is better to be upfront about who you really are rather than trying to be the person your not and having that person you met find out, later on, to be possible disappointed. I think she sets a bit of a challenge for me and other readers to try to be more real with yourself with first impressions and the importance of being your true self and not being ashamed of that.
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Yes… upfront and inviting.
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Funny you mention stand-up comedians, because i compared Irby to Bill Burr in my reaction summary. Both base a lot of their comedy on truth and it never fails to deliver.
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My first impression of Ms. Irby was that she was very open and told what she felt. It did take a bit of downward spiral and just wasn’t interesting me, but then she turned it around and the reading became funny, embarrassing, and pretty relatable. Her style of writing makes it easy for someone like myself to stay focused on it and keep reading it. She is true to herself and captures her writing by not letting things that other view affect her or her writing in any way. I’m excited to read the rest of her story and see how it plays out.
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This ‘true to herself vibe’… where do you feel that?
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I feel that in her words. It sounds very cliche but most books that I’ve read the author seems to put random things that would made the scenario that they are talking about more real. When I read her writing it doesn’t feel or sound like that. It doesn’t sound like she had to go through her scenario book to pick something out and insert in a specific spot to make it sounds better. It sounds natural and truthful.
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Often in Irby’s work, I noted how often she uses “I” statements. She starts off a passage with her stance on something, and she says it loud and proud. She’ll then continue after that and explain why she feels that way and somehow often convinces me to feel the same. One of her passages started with “You know what makes me happy?” and then she proceeded to list little monotonies of life that bring her joy, like a good morning text and “half-dead grocery store flowers.” I noted that passage because it made me really think about a similar list for myself, and I liked the way she sounded so sure of herself and so steady.
That’s another aspect I noted. A lot of her writing is just exactly her. Everything just is exactly what she says it to be, and honestly it works. It’s interesting to read. One of my favorites still makes me laugh when I reread it: “I need to say this loud for the girls in the back of the class: if a dude doesn’t want to have to use both hands to grab your ass, that’s totally cool.” Irby writes as if whatever she says it what goes, and to challenge it would be a losing battle. I like reading authors with authority (pun intended?).
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Great!!
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What did you find yourself noting most?
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I noted that she asks questions of the reader directly. Her loud tone makes it easy to identify who she is in person, as well. She swears quite a bit, which is funny to me because I can turn it off at work and in front of my kid, but she writes like I think in terms of vocabulary lol.. Her AWKWARDNESS is so funny and she is not afraid to lay herself bare for the sake of the reader. She enjoys being an author, and she gets pride from being unapologetically herself.
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Her enjoyment and comfortable code in her own language is her most elevating attribute, I think..
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I think Irby teaches us that… The architecture of your attitude is easy to re-assign and align…
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Yes! We are the holders of our own destinies!
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I was noting something a bit similar. Irby comfortable enough to stay where she is but doesn’t want to reader to think that is what she’s suggesting. I think she wants us to know that we have endless options to change our lifestyle or our attitude about it
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What do your notes read, exactly?
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Original scribble from my notebook,
Irby is comfortable with her life but wants us to know it’s what makes her happy and doesn’t neccesarily apply to us. She wants us to know there are endless paths to take and chances to change if we choose.
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I like that aspect of not applying to us.. like she’s writing for herself, for her own wellness.
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Definitely. She’s so upfront about her opinions and ideas that it makes me want to have the same kind of personality. Her transparency with the reader, her peers and herself allows her to be whoever she wants to be and it comes across as genuine and magnetic.
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I find myself noting a lot of her humor. When Irby says something that give me a reaction I note it. I find it ironic that Lawson wrote a review on the back of Irby’s book saying “Hysterical, honest and authentic.” I believe that no one knows these three things better than Lawson.
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With what I have read about the book I have noted Irby’s parent divorce through poverty the most. One reason was hoe it caught my attention so much the second reason was how much detail was involved to get the readers to understand what it is like.
Stephanie Neeley
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*how
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My impressions of Irby are that when she writes its and invitation to read and engage with the text that I don’t usually feel with many authors. She’s very descriptive when she talks about her life and I love the use of all the capitalization and cursing in her writing. I think that this is especially effective when you’re writing a book about your own life in your own point of view.
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I noted often how there’s a balance in her emotion and expression, page presence and general walk from line to line.
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Similarly to Andrew and his love for the outdoors coming out for him in reading, saw myself noting the music, and what it meant for her. It made her one of the most welcoming authors. I wrote about her and her similarities to De La Soul in my response. I also noted sentences that I never thought could be arranged, and how often she goes into ALL CAPS IT’S REALLY A LOT and I love it!
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Nice!!
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Your notes on Irby…. What did you find yourself noting most?
Whoops I kind of talked about this in the last one, but the main thing I noticed was how her upbringing cultivated the person she became. Like how she never had any of the possessions she wanted as a kid so she latches on to them now. She demands the things she wants. One of which is the reader’s attention. She settles for nothing less than an undivided attention… anything else is equivalent to a knock off cereal…
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Ha! Yes!
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I think Irby is the most encouraging when it comes to writing our own stories.. the best instructor for personal narrative. What do you think?
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Definitely. She wants us to know how empowering it is to be ourselves and write ourselves into our own stories. She does a really good job at capturing her own voice and personality in her writing and encourages us to do the same.
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BREAK. GET SOME ZEN… have some peace, time to self,… music, meditation…. ❤
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While reading Irby’s book I found myself noting and enjoying a lot of the wording she incorporates into her book. I noted some really powerfully honest bits that surprised me but I really admire her for that honesty. She has this somewhat overwhelming yet empowering way of not skipping any of the details and letting the reader feel what she is going through.
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I find myself noting a lot of humor in the way that she expresses her thoughts. I think the cursing works really well in this book, especially when you consider the transparency between the writer and reader. It feels natural and doesn’t at all feel like she added any phrases or words for the sake of filling up space.
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My journal entries this past week have been powered by strong emotion, they were an outlet to some of the stress that is a product of isolation. I has been having some trouble with two very important people to me that I have had to isolate from and writing out my troubles helped me to think about it in a more clear and calm manner so that I could proceed with a leave head and find a solution without unnecessary stress. My journal entries have been helping me get through these unusual and difficult times.
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from journal…. When you’re hungry, you’re what? I’m an agitated porcupine, just wanting to quill someone. That’s where I was yesterday afternoon, and I just thought it was the funniest thing. Like asking myself, “Why are you such an asshole?” No answer of course but I enjoyed the question. Am I now famished? Not really. Wish I was. Like how I think when I’m just ravenous enough to punch someone. In college, when living on campus someone told me I’m a nasty jerk when I’m hungry. Thought to myself, perfect… I need to get there more, and write when I have the perfect scowl and core growl..
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Hangry indeed. I understand, sometimes when I’m starving all I can think about is food. My stomach hurts so much that talking with others makes me agitated. Just give me something to eat first, then we can talk!
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Lol. I always ask myself the same question, and to this day i have no proper response as to why i am an asshole. This is great!
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Hahahahaha…
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Lolololol an agitated porcupine, just wanting to quill someone. That is an amazing line lol it made me crack up and I told it to Maja 😂
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It’s true, Rizz…..
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Open mic…. Get some, y’all!!!
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BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Journaling and self in quarantine!!! So much emotion!! I’ve learned a lot about myself during shelter in place, and I’ve also grown more confused. Conflicting, I know! As a person who specializes in thinking way too hard prior to acting (literally two days ago I was talking to a friend and he could tell I was conflicted and said “ava, don’t think so much!!!) I’ve been trapped in my head a lot. I have been questioning everything from family to desires to career choices to friendships. Getting a safe distance away from everyone you interact with so regularly makes it much easier to see the dysfunction of the people around you. By no means am I perfect! We all have our problems. It’s just easy to get stuck in your own little bubble with your little life without taking into perspective how small it really is! Talking to them as often as possible in quarantine I’ve noticed the variety of friend that I keep, and I’ve taken my time analyzing them. It’s fascinating to see how they all cope with the situations in their lives. I have a spectrum of friends. One is having major issues at home and is attempting to move out due to a bad relationship with her dad, the other broke up with her boyfriend of quite some time, one had a stressful day at her new job, and the last is about to enter the US marines and just found out he’ll be quarantined after boot camp and won’t be able to come home and visit me for a few weeks. There is a spectrum of issues, some more serious than others, but seeing how they cope from a distance is interesting. It has opened my eyes to the depth of their character. Some definitely have more shallow struggles than others, some are going through hell and make a point to text me and ask how I’m doing or if they can help me out with anything. Quarantine has made me very appreciative of the people in my life. I cannot wait to return to normal and spend some face to face time with them all.
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Love the structure and symmetry of emotion and words here, Ava!!
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merci, mon amie!
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Vous êtes les bienvenus! Est-ce que tu parles français? Si oui, discutons ..
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ami^ that’s how you know I’ve been slacking in my French class!
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j’ai pris quelques années de français! je ne parle pas couramment malheureusement!
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Tout bon! 🙂
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I appreciate how you share your thoughts on all the emotion you feel. ‘Trapped in my mind’ is a great way to put it, and despite being alone from people, you’re able to address everything thoroughly and act as a resource for your friends. I cannot wait as well!
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Kind words, thanks Pasha.
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Thanks for the great words, Pasha! I hope you’re hanging in there, AP exams and all!!
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Thanks Ava! Will try my best haha
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I haven’t reflected on my journal entries it’s just my thoughts through out the day. For humor my co-worker told me I sound like a mouse
Stephanie Neeley
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Ha!!
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In general I tend to like to write more personally and from the heart. For our final I think I would really like to reflect on this past semester and make a goal for the upcoming challenges to come. I would like to write about this encause of ow unusual the situation we are in is. I think not only would it be a topic I am interested in but also a good way to work through what is going on and how to deal with what may come. Honestly I feel like sitting down and writing out some ideas about that right now.
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You should!!
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Not up for transcribing a journal entry. Here’s my introduction to my writing turned in today 🙂
Tears start to flood my eyes. My throat begins closing up as I silently beg my dad for a way to breathe, no matter what we have to do. The torn-apart Saturn my dad has owned for twenty years bounces up and down as we drive across the hills. The windows had just stopped cranking a couple days ago, which wouldn’t have been a problem, but my dad and I are on our way to a week-long sixth grade celebratory retreat in the strangest (and only) Christian cabin site I’ve ever seen, and the only other person in the car is a boy whose revolting stench seemingly defied some laws of chemistry. I should be excited, and anticipating what would define the trip. Instead, I’m cursing whoever was responsible for making me sit with the one person in my grade who reminded me of a sick person’s toilet bowl, and no one else. And during the end of the third day of the Proctor Terrace Outdoor Education trip, as I’m sitting on my bottom bunk in Cabin 8 remembering my journey here, I realize for the first time that the driving arrangements will be the same for the drive back home.
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Wow! I can really imagine the whole scene! I really like the way you described it! I could really imagine how all my five senses would be on that journey!
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Yes! Me too!
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An overview of the last couple of months from my journal
This sheltering in place has been especially difficult because I began having some physical health challenges again right before we were ordered to stay home. The doctor’s office closed to routine appointments and I felt cut off from the outside world where I would try to forget about my issues until I had a diagnosis. I was sheltering in place with my worries, physical symptoms, and going back to a lifestyle that was far less healthy. While waiting for the last two months to see my Dr., my anxiety had kicked in and I spent countless hours wondering what might be wrong with me. It took me some weeks, but I eventually accepted the fact that nothing was going to change with so much anxiety and poured my focus into a healthier routine. I set reminders on my phone, wrote out my daily tasks (not that I ever finished them all, but its the thought that counts) and cleaned up the clutter in my space. Just those things alone helped to redirect my mind. With some mental space to spare, I took up running about a month ago and have been running nearly every day. I surprised myself the other day by running for a full 20 minutes which is a lot considering that I was dreadfully out of shape. The largest lesson I’m learning from this time at home is how to work with myself. When there are no distractions left, I’m left with my thoughts and a blank page each day. There are no outside factors to provide structure, so I’m learning what really works for me best with things like timelines, study techniques, sleep schedules, and motivation. I think many of us will come back together as a community with a greater understanding of how to be at some sort of peace with ourselves.
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Love the honesty in this.. colleagues?
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Your transparency here is so nice to read and connect to. Sometimes I feel like I’m aloe with hardships at this time; this reminded me that I’m not. I also liked reading how you’re proud of yourself for even small accomplishments, I’m feeling the same! Keep on keeping on 🙂
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You’re NOT alone, Jenna. 🙂
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Hi Jenna,
thanks for your kind words, they actually mean a lot. As Mikey already said, you’re far from alone. Be as gentle as you can with yourself and don’t forget to reward those little victories, it keeps things fun. 🙂
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Love theze vibez..
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In the past for journaling or music most of it was what I felt emotionally about everything, people in my life. Stephanie Neeley
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From the journal yesterday: Tying the mainsail to the boat, I race towards the front sail as it yearns to break free from the onslaught of wind. The deck is so slanted I have to push myself away from the water, drenched by the large waves. And then, a giant hand plucks the toy boat from the water, to sail another day as the wind sings.
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Want to read more.. great visuals..
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Honestly, my journal entries have all been about feelings of inadequacy. It is a great fear of mine and I think I have nearly thought the thought to death. Only, that would be too easy. I’ve just been processing why I feel the way that I do and I have found that it largely boils down to me taking things too personally. So I have been actively trying to stop when I am offended and think about all the other reasons that an interaction could have take place. I don’t want to take things personally, but I do instinctually
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Feel free to share. YOU, are NOT inadequate, kind friend.
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I feel that. Sometimes I have the same issue and have to remind myself to start by giving people the benefit of the doubt and move from there.
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Have you tried exercise? I find it that sometimes writing about my feelings only makes things worse, and rather than overthink how i feel, i simply get moving and exercise until i forget about everything. Afterwards, i recollect myself and things usually fall into perspective.
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Yes Jose I definitely need to work on giving people the benefit of the doubt. Gilbert, I think exercise might be a good idea. I was exercising regularly before quarantine but have really only been walking since it started… that could explain a lot of these feelings actually
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Another topic in my journal has been my navigating the process of getting engaged. Stealing a ring, getting ring size, and recently trying to talk to the girlfriends parents to get their blessing. SUCH A STRUGGLE…
Anyone have any ideas on rings, stores..etc?
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Wait whaaattt…. did you say stealing a ring?! Lol
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Yeah, what?…..
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I had to steal her ring to figure out her size lol
I did not go to Jared….and rob it. (although looking at prices, it might be more cost effective)
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Haha thanks for the clarification! Lol yessss rings are crazy expensive
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Lately I have been writing a bit about my friend and her boyfriend, also a good friend, who, while in quarantine was diagnosed with having stage 4 liver and colon cancer. He’s only 40! About how grateful I am that he has her, and how crazy life must be for them! It’s kind of depressing, but maintaining hope is helpful. I wonder why I write about depressing shit like that. But I guess it’s good to process. I havent really been through a lot of illness and death in my life, and I don’t know how to react to it. It makes me want to isolate more, because I dont know what to say to help, or to be funny.
I have also been writing about how when this dang quarantine is over, how I won’t be a flake anymore. Having social anxiety coupled with an introverted personality, I had a tendency to want to go do things with friends and meet new people, but when it comes down to it, psyching myself out. But when this quarantine is over, I will accept ALL of the invitations and give ALL the hugs and go to ALL of the places.
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Lots of power and pull in these paragraphs. Thank you for sharing!
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Totally! The situation compels us to make the most out of our lives.
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Yes it does!! Great attitude, and a healthy one, here.
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Thank you for sharing. We need to hug our loved ones when we can and enjoy their time with us. Grandma is getting an extra squeeze whenever they free us.
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YES!
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While being sheltered in place, I have learned just how much I thrive off of human connection. I can definitely always find endless amounts of things to keep me occupied but I miss being around friends and family. I have gone on quite a few social distance walks and I had a social distance picnic but it is nothing like being able to show the people I love just how much I love them with a hug and just having the freedom to go to a restaurant or carpool to the beach or the city with a friend. But I have also learned that I can keep a leave head and get through whatever life throws at me. I just hope that the people around me can do the same.
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Truthful, and lovingly vulnerable and instructional..
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