March’s Ides….
5:5:10pm: First ten words that come to mind…. Just write them down, let us respond. Could take any form.
ME:
Not rushing.
Don’t want that.
Ease is what me frees.
5:10-5:40pm: Self-talk in writing. Why. What does it do. Is that what our authors are doing? Why do it at all?
A self-talk that is written is a realized realization.
Talking to yourself is when you find stories, understandings and lively realities you may have dismissed at one point.
5:40-6:05pm: Irby update…. What are you seeing, learning, feeling?
I’m feeling a reassuring statement to not care so much, take life as it comes and embrace everything that you are.
She tells me to look more into what is stressing me, why overthink… why think at all.. just live and enjoy who you are.
6:05-6:20pm: How are YOU? Tel us about you, your story, what’s been happening in your story. Help us get to know your story better…
6:20-6:30pm: Tonight’s page…. What’s there?
For me: Self, Self-talk, learning from immediate sight.
STRIP STRESS OF ITS STRENGTH AND SIGNIFICANCE.
Essays should be YOU. Not “extensions”. Fly to the page and love MADLY.
Read to find something you need…. Read to perpetuate curiosity, not find answers.
***ASSIGNMENT: Keep reading Irby….. Start a conversation with me over email, about Irby….
#professormikey 
I usually have private speech with myself to decipher and develop my cognition. It’s helpful because it curbs my thoughts and spreads them out so I can be more aware of them. However, it could often be perceived as something someone who has “lost their marbles” would do like folks who dig out of my recycling bin at 1am…
I emphasize *private*.
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And, the enjoyable part is that I am under no obligation to make sense to anyone, because I am the end receiver of the monologue I am sending.
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So true. And BTW… your writing has become a convincing climate over the years, even stronger than it was years ago in 1A. Cheers Dais.
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Thank you so much. Still got far to go to reach your stellar level of pedagogy.
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Not stellar at all, and not pedagogy my old friend. Just a human, and only hoping to be genuine and accessible.
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Ten self-talk words, recent: Change and contrast educate, illustrate. Quotes only provide bandaids.
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In awkward situations I sometimes talk to myself in my own head to make myself feel less awkward.
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With my anxiety spike earlier I ended up talking to myself to try and calm down. Trying to figure out what could potentially be the cause of me being anxious and what steps I could take to move past it. I thought about if this happened while I was teaching and how I would try to deal with the situation.
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And understand the situation… SELF-empower in the situation. 🙂
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So not to keep mentioning midnight in Paris (i have to, it was SO GOOD) it follows the story of this writer who moves to Paris and is finds himself in an illusion of 1920’s Paris. He so desperately tries to deliver good work despite the backlash from his fiancé and her parents. He brings famous characters to life in his imagination like Ernest Hemingway, Scott Fitzgerald, Picasso, but takes the dialogue he has with them as a grasp of his reality. Like Stein telling him his work is great, but then telling him that Hemingway (who he adores) found something odd about his plot. In which Hemingway said that the main Character is too blind to see his wife is cheating on him. He then says to Stein that its the denial of the character. He appplies this dialogues with his made up character to make decisions in his life. Using this example, i feel like writing puts things in perspective. Having dialogues brings perspective.
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So true!! Another thing he, Gil, realizes in these inter-dimensional travels, is that happiness is completely up to him. That one’s reaction to his work and goals is definitively meaningless…. “If you’re a writer, DECLARE YOURSELF THE BEST WRITER.” -Hemingway (in the movie) … No bullshit, I can quote that movie line for line… Cheers to you for mentioning it and incorporating it into tonight’s meeting.
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LOVE IT!!! We gotta do a movie night with the class when Covid is over!!!
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So down.
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Sometimes, people just make you smile. Sometimes you don’t need the self-talk…. You do it later after the radiance of someone’s presence and words, pages, walk, ideas…. There’s so much out there for us. Please gift yourself several opportunities to explore.
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I say hi a lot to people and try to spread smiles, or at least twinkly eyes when Im feeling I got more to give. You can change a persons day in one word. You can also do this for yourself. Choose BOTH.
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So much this. YES.
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Interactions with you even within this class have made me smile for sure! Your input is always so genuine and pure, thank you for your positive energy!
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Thank you Paul! Its nice to hear that! I always love your honest and clear thoughts as well.
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Cheers Paul. Always lean on your colleagues!!!
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Irby… how’s she speaking to you? ❤
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Feel like Irby reminds us…. Sometimes you don’t know what to say, and that’s more than just “okay”. It’s healthy, it’s reality, it’s your decision.
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Irby…take expectations out of the evil box they are in and make them yours.
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Examples of where she conveys this to you Laura?
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Right away in the beginning when she is narrating her day. What actually happens vs. what she could write happened, and how a lot of “influencers” do the on the regular.
Also throughout her writing she talks about social norms and doing the exact opposite…like not having a baby… and what she would rather do instead.
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Irby, I mention this a lot, has been a struggle for me. But there are some really good points that have already been brought up by other classmates. The point of view of a woman. I try my to listen and learn about this topic. I’m often asking my girlfriend about experiences she’s had or experiences in general. There’s something I really value in her books, as of the last few chapters I’ve read especially, that can educate me on what some experiences may be like.
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I love her quote… Loving yourself as a full-time job with shitty benefits. I’m calling in sick.
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lol…. YES!!!
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I feel like Irby engages with her readers more than Lawson which I’m enjoying. It feels very relatable. I think both books have the same message but for different things and it’s just to not care what anyone thinks and be yourself.
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She’s speaking to me through her reactions to the events occurring in her life. They’re far more genuine and real than any other author I have experienced before which makes her so much more relatable to me at least.
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yes, I agree! I will always look forward to her lifes stories.
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Irby says what we’re all thinking so we don’t have to. She blunt and has no filter in her writing because it’s like she’s writing in her diary where no one can judge her so she’s the most honest and open with us. And she always preaching to do what’s best for yourself.
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Yes! I definitely agree its almost relaxing to here her words at times.
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I feel a connection between Lawson and Irby, but with Irby I get more of a sense of laid backness instead of Lawson where her writing is a little more stressful to read. Irby gives me similar feelings I felt with Lawson’s book, that it is okay to be who you want to be.
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i feel this!! I felt a certain feeling reading her work that made me feel rushed in a way. Or somewhat stressed. This gives me more peace.
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Irby… she caught me off guard that’s for sure. I was not prepared for the old people porn at a bus stop. Could have used a disclaimer but here we are! It’s funny and easy to read her work (I did skip the busstop though). Her narration has a lot of self talk in there and she lacks a filter similar to Lawson like we touched on in class last week. I’d say at this point I haven’t found a personal connection with wow, no thank you. Besides just enjoying her style, nothing deeper than going out with friends and only wanting to wear comfy clothes, but I’m only about half way through so there’s more to be learned!
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Love when Irby writes something like .. “Sex is fun… But have you even been to a Panera drive-through?” I just love her attitude and communication consistency with readers.
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Irby’s got the same honest and open stance that I felt while reading Lawson’s writing. In my opinion it helps immensely in terms of the reader feeling connected to the writing, given it feels like a true set of circumstances rather than someone painting a fictitious story of their life
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I liked her hysterical chapter. Honestly women need to be not afraid to talk about periods and also I found it comforting she also got hers at a young age because it is an experience. Also I’m so happy for her she got a hysterectomy and doesn’t have to deal with it anymore because she’s a lesbian who doesn’t want kids so I can fully understand why you would resent it in her circumstance. Her explanation of making friends with Emily was always really relatable, because I’m also bad at making friends and have a list of traits that would make someone friend material(page 86). I think I’m just generally comforted by Irby so when she says I shouldn’t be hard on myself I listen because she feels more real to be since I relate to her in those ways.
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Great example here… Please note this comfortable feeling in your journal Lily… something you can build and write about later!!
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Does Irby speak directly to you as a reader at any time?
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It feels like she does this all the time
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Speaking directly to the reader I feel is the overwhelming theme of the first two books we have read in class. The open allows the writing to feel like a friend tell you stories rather than anything else. The authentic nature of showing both the good and the bad really helps the reader, in my opinion, feel directly spoken to
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Write about that.
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Poetics in her writing… paragraph to paragraph, chapter to chapter..
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Im enjoying irby’s book because I feel like I can relate to her so much at this point in my life. I feel like this book will help me by thinking about how I’m really doing and how I can change my bad days to better ones.
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Irby is blithely aware of what she choose to share, uncensored character quality. Like amplitude, I’ve mentioned before – issa vibe – to embrace/ignore the inane chatter in our life.
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Is Irby reassuring? How?
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She is reassuring because she makes her life relatable. She takes a human approach to writing
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In so many ways! Yes!!
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I felt like Irby has giving me the vibe like if i’m engaging with her like if she were to actually be talking to me. she really speaks of real life things! Makes you have that courage that some of us dont have and not be scared to express ourselves.
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Does she call upon us to do anything for others?
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I feel a lot of empathy in her writing, and I think that could be one thing she does call us to do
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I agree. And, especially, empathy toward ourselves!! What do you think…?
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absolutely YES!
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yes to speak and not be scared because as much as we can relate to her others can relate to us or we can relate to others! we will help each other out!
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Yes exactly
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Irby is defiantly a vary graphic writer, she doesn’t pull back any of her punches. she has a down to earth kind of vibe, her taste in music is interesting, I listened
to some of her playlist mix tape songs via apple music.
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Defiantly?
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I do have to say, I admire Lawson’s lawless writing form more, just sayin….. You?
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Definitly more rodeo there…
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Rodeo.. for sure.
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I can relate to Lawson more so just because of personal issues, learning or otherwise, her words spoke to me, and there where chapters where i was like ya I could see myself doing that, or ya I have done that.
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I agree with you completely Ashton!
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I agree, I appreciate how loose it feels. You can just feel the thoughts jumping from page to page
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🙂
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I feel like usually I’m a fairly calm person. Like I don’t extrude energy, and I can be quiet, with the exception that I get enthusiastic about few select topics, but my mind can run a mile a minute. Like when I describe my thoughts and processes its overwhelmingly a lot to even me. I have been struggling with my anxiety a lot. I’ve been having panic attacks that are a somewhat debilitating. Lately I’m overwhelmed with school and work and family. Sometimes I just want a week of nothing. Just like a sensory deprivation chamber for an extended period of days.
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Lots of people feel the same. You are NOT alone.
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I think she’s reassuring in how she’s not trying to be something she’s not, she’s authentic in her thoughts, actions, responses, and her life as a whole. So many people try to show out their best lives and prove that they’re doing so well or so much, but sometimes you’re just living your life doing what you need and not trying to fake an extravagant one.
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Yes, she is very raw and natural with her writing. Great word to describe her!
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Forget all this English 5 talk…. How are YOU??????
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I think I enjoy the writing styles of both Lawson and Irby the same just for different reasons. Lawson is a more active and intense read where Irby is more calm but still gets her points across well.
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Some big changes are happening in my life right now. I have earned the responsibility of being my grandmother’s full-time caregiver for the next… while. She has been in the hospital since December 28th and is finally able to come home! She’s one of my top 3 favorite people so I’m genuinely happy to be able to take care of her. These feelings are accompanied by sooo many others though. I JUST moved out of the area in January. And since we don’t know how long she’ll need care for, I don’t know if I’m supposed to move back, or if I’m just supposed to commute and come home on the weekends, sublet my room or what. It’s stressful then I feel bad about having thoughts of doubt or self-pity then I feel worse. It’s a vicious cycle. Over all I thiiiiiink I’m handling it well and I know what’s meant to be will be.
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I admire you.
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I’m doing okay, still dealing with my grandmas loss…. but trying to keep moving with life and looking forward to graduate this spring! Work has been hectic with schools opening up but just hoping to still have a job after spring break! And even looking forward to moving out to Reno.
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Me…. I just want this all to be over… this covid cloud. The pain, people getting sick…. It will in time, guess I’m just impatient.
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Im ready too.
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I’d say there’s a difference between impatient and fed up
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Yeah…
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Ive been doing alright, my grandpa has been having some medical issues which for me has made me realize what short time we have on this earth, my truck broke down but $350 later its fixed so thats nice. Just taking life in day by day.
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My story is a lot. But right now it’s focused on figuring out where I want to go, and I don’t have an answer for that. Someone please tell me why are all the career paths out there that are supposedly worth chasing are also the ones where I couldn’t even tell you what someone with that job does every day. I think part of the reason it’s so hard to find something I’d be happy with is because capitalism essentially sets us up for failure and a lower quality of life, making it not my fault, but still. It’s difficult for me because I like a lot of things but I don’t like anything (that I am realistically good at enough to succeed) quite enough. Many things seem nice but I’m not very passionate about it. Several of those things I bet I’d hate if I really did them. So that’s my current conflict, because I kinda ignored it when I was younger because it seemed so far away, almost like I’d never have to actually make that choice at all.
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Create your own opportunities, my friend!!! There is no other YOU.
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I read an article on forest bathing Tuesday morning, decided I needed to live in the forest, found a yurt and saw it the same day in between storms, and was offered it Friday. I’m moving in two weeks. Manifesting! Enpowered!
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OMG… Cheers!!!!
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How am I? I mean of all days to have this question posed, with my random absurd anxiety spike just a while ago. I’m up and down, as I have been for much of COVID. Was able to see friends from a distance yesterday which was truly lovely. Trying to keep pace with school while looking for a part time job is certainly stressful. Excited for Spring Break, I need the ability to sleep for days at this point.
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Hang in there friend!
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Appreciate you!
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Be good to yourself… ❤
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Self-care hopefully comin during Spring Break!
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Oh man have I been pulled in every direction lately. I nervous about being in the red tier because things can go wrong so quick, I want to go back to NORMAL school, not this stupid hybrid thing they’re trying to push on us. Soccer starting back up which is amazing, I missed it so much, try outs are the 29th!! But I had to tell my boss that I can work as much and I feel bad because I know they need me but soccer needs me too. I just wish I can be at two places at ones. But I’m trying to keep positive and take it day by day!
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We so many times forget about us… ourselves. Why is that? Why do we let life have a louder voice than US? Maybe I’m just speaking for myself, but…..
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a culture thing? now something we just Do?
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Ugh…
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And honestly, this sounds crass… but a philosophy of ‘FUCK IT’ has value…. You can quote me on that and buy me a glass of vino when you see what I see. Concern is normal, but it’s also compromising if on an excessively high high… PLEASE NOTE.
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What’s on the page y’all????
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I’m good, the time difference is just the only hard part because it’s a 13-hour difference now which gets confusing sometimes. I feel like I’m trying to live in 2 places at the same time I’m trying to wake up early and spend time with my family but I get so tired cause I stay up all night doing he and classes. So it’s like the 2 biggest things Family and school in completely different times. I’m just trying to figure that out.
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My brain is content because I have new guitars riffs to listen to. I could use a concert connection right about now. (Dammit.) The last one I went to was in October 2019. I damaged a degree of vibration with vocal cords then, therefore, I religiously ate honey to recover; sadly still can’t hit some notes…
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OTP: Write more crazily. Seriously. Be crazy. Be free. Find love in your own words
You can talk yourself out of any mood. Start talking.
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OTP: Self-talk more.
Make your own opportunities.
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on tonights page, self talk can be more than overthinking.
Have a goodnight everyone!
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U 2 Paul!!!!
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OTP: you can’t write an essay, or anything, if you don’t have inward words an conversations, explorations and elucidations ….
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self talk like you are your best friend
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YES!!!
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