9/19/2026
Bachelor party done. And now… 13 days till we wed.
Again, time reminding me it doesn’t care. So, as Uncle Stevie and I talked about… just accept it. Don’t react. Be aligned with its reality and function rather than resisting and cursing it.
7:53am. Hike planned but not sure if we’re going to make it. I’m hoping to, injured as I am from last night’s night of wine and some later dancing, dinner earlier obviously but— what you’d expect.
Chris, known him for more than half my life, I just realized over the phone with the Nurse a bit ago. And she, my bride, on her outing ce soir.
Again, time. Reminding me. And, not all negative. Reminding this write of all the opportunity and invitation. All the doors that are open.
Chris, my best man, up. He and I about to go on a hike, injured as we are. But we persist. And me, the rest of the day, CZL intentioned.
What it means…
More than coffee but the moment. Now I sip water after two espresso shots and a quick conversation with my brother.
Life.. all that it is. Everything the story even so much as suggests.. there is so much here for us.
Why do we let our heads go to negative places? Why don’t we see…. Just…. The room?
Rubbing my eyes, hoping to be more awake for this hike. And then…. I stop thinking about it. And see the art, the Story in it, making it a project.
Early start to the day, which I love. My brother is the same way, given his business and what he’s built, taking overseas calls and the like.
Nurse messages me. Missing her something terrible, but I need to distract myself. Or maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should study this feeling, of missing someione so much.
Yes. That.
9/20/2026
Yesterday, a day to collect. After our hike, I came back to Vacaville, wrote a bit but not much. Decided to be in the moment, like I haven’t ever. To see and feel more molecularly where I am. Doing the same this morning, but typing…
Reading over my vows, reading them again, and wondering how the fuck I’m going to get through them. I will, I’m sure, but will need one of those little Happy Tears tissue packets the Nurse got for everyone. I’m sure. Maybe even two.
Latte vey much working, me typing here like a feverish Beatnik looking for more story in this room and where I am. The plainness is never plain, ever.
Music, in all this.
Deciding on MUSIC. The LoFi right now making me feel relaxed but strong, and present in a way that I will continue to study. Sent an email, reshaping some ideas for the Sales Academy. Which, and this just occurred to me the other day, is more of an EVERYTHING Academy.
Why did I not think of this before, I thought on the hike yesterday with Zent. Huh… anyway, here I am.
9:39 AM. Now what… thought about taking myself to brunch, but…. I’m thinking too much, of course. No surprise there. Feeling this room, EVERYTHING about it. The PEACE, and inherent music. That’s the answer, MUSIC. Kerouac said, “The only truth is music.” And finally, now, and only now, do I get it.